Abuse, anger, Communication, Conflict Resolution, Controlling People, Counseling, crazy-making behaviour, Divorce, Domestic Violence, dysfunctional relationships, Emotional Abuse, Emotional and Psychological Abuse, healing from abuse, help for abuse victims, Human development, Narcissism
Recently, I was lucky enough to encounter the beautiful Leah Griffith, author of the blog, ‘Knowing When Enough is Enough’. If you’re curious about someone with true grit, who has survived events most of us never even have nightmares about, please pop over to her page and read her story. She is a tower of strength and is the catalyst for my own ‘taking off the mask’. That is, I decided to put my photograph on my blog, after two years of anonymity, despite the possibility of being recognized by people I’d rather not deal with. We shall not be silenced!
Leah has nominated me for the ‘Once a Victim, Now a Survivor’ award!
Thank you, Leah, for the nomination, but also, most importantly, for your inspiration and encouragement.
For my part, I would like to nominate the following bloggers:
Anna Waldherr – A Voice Reclaimed, Surviving Child Abuse
Secret Angel – The Abuse Expose
Ravencanvas – Painting A Life After Narcissistic Abuse
Kim Saeed – Let Me Reach
If your name isn’t here, it’s not because you’re not worthy. For each of us, certain personalities and circumstances simply ‘resonate’. Every blog I follow, and every blogger who follows me, has given me an irreplaceable gift.
The Rules of accepting this award are:
- Thank the blogger who nominated you.
- Nominate 5 – 10 bloggers to pass the award to.
- Post questions for your nominees to answer (You may use the same as these below)
- Inform your nominees and post a comment in their blog to let them know they’ve been nominated.
(There’s no obligation to accept. So much depends on time, energy and other factors.)
My questions for my nominees are:
- Has blogging helped you to heal from your abuse?
- Has reading on the topics of abuse and narcissism been beneficial on your journey to recovery?
- How do you deal with the question of remaining anonymous versus revealing your identity?
And now for the answers to the questions I was posed:
1. Why did you start your blog?
I’ve always written out my pain, from writing angsty poetry in my teens, to journaling my experiences, thoughts and feelings during the dark times of abusive and difficult relationships. I have dozens of notebooks collected over the past few years that bear testimony to my pain, my insights and my growth. After the final discard from an abusive partner, blogging my heart out about this most exquisitely painful experience of my life was a natural progression. It’s not only cathartic but also helps me to focus on my own cognitions, explore them, challenge them and mostly, make sense of them.
More significantly, I entered the blog sphere determined to be heard and to make a difference. It was the support, information, knowledge and understanding I received from fellow bloggers, all of them having experienced unique and tragic abuse at the hands of their ‘beloved’ perpetrators, that encouraged me to follow this path.
2. How has blogging helped you heal from your situation?
Along with psychotherapy, blogging and reading other abuse survivors’ blogs, has been my greatest healing tool. In fact, I received, and continue to receive, more clarity and insights from my fellow bloggers and my own exploration of the subject than I receive from my therapist, excellent though he is. He has always encouraged me to be my own expert, to explore my own psyche and form my own conclusions. Blogging has been my means of achieving exactly that.
I’m one of those people for whom ‘knowledge is power’ and that empowerment is exactly what any abuse survivor needs most in the world. The vast majority of my newfound knowledge has come from my fellow bloggers so, in that sense, interacting in the abuse blog community has been a true eye-opener along the path towards reclaiming my power.
3. Why would you recommend blogging to someone who suffered from domestic violence and other abuse?
It’s humbling to witness the synchronicity that comes into play as life presents me with wounded souls who open up and share their stories. It’s a privilege to be approached and trusted. As well as personally keeping in touch with them, encouraging them through the rough spots (and they’re all rough), I direct them to my own blog and also encourage them to read widely from the many other excellent sources of support in the blog-o-sphere. I also suggest they begin a blog of their own, for all the reasons I’ve outlined above – catharsis, knowledge, support, empowerment. And mostly? So they are NO LONGER SILENCED! (Not sorry for shouting.)
Love and light to every brother and sister who has been invalidated, belittled, denigrated, frightened and controlled…in any manner…physical, verbal, emotional, psychological. Every wound is real.